Making a List, Checking It Twice

Saturday, November 14, 2009

Anyone who has ever had pregnancy brain can only chuckle self-consciously at this “checklist” posted inside Butch Cassidy’s, a burger joint in Mobile. Maybe the second column of the list would have been really funny, even preposterous, before kids, but now you know that it does indeed take a checklist to successfully go to or return from any destination.

This realization begins when you start having to pack a diaper bag. What used to be a quick trip to the market is more like preparing for a camping excursion. At minimum, you need several diapers+wipes+formula+bottle+bib+ extra change of clothes+pacifier+blanky+toy+ your own keys+license+debit card+lipstick+cell phone.

This is before you get in the car. Starting the ignition kicks off the pre-departure mental checklist: Do I have diaper bag, doors locked, oven/iron turned off, baby locked in securely, coupons, wallet, do shoes match?

When there is more than one kid to handle, multiply all the above and and include different sizes or add sports uniforms. It’s no wonder I know more than one mom who has attempted to back out of the garage before the door was fully up (trust me, it’s repairable).

While I used to think it was pretty meticulous of Santa to be “making a list, checking it twice,” now I understand it’s the only way he can ever come to town.