Goodbye, Elves. Don’t Let the Doorknob Hit You…

I gotta be honest, Elves. You’re headed back to the North Pole with Santa now, and I’m relieved.

It’s not that we haven’t had fun. Of course we have! But you’ve heard that old saying about fish and company getting old after three days. You’ve been hanging out in our house for three WEEKS. As a worker bee yourself, you can surely understand how it’s been a job to keep up with you, what with watching out for your next adventure and cleaning up after your messes.

You pulled some good pranks, that’s for sure. Thank goodness Dad and I could figure out your intentions and explain them to the kids when necessary, like those times when we just knew those epsom salts were your version of snow, or times when we could always spot you when the kids couldn’t.

But let’s acknowledge that it’s time for you to get back to your elf work and all that toymaking or whatever it is you do the rest of the year. Why, it would be a shame to keep you around here any longer. Doesn’t Mrs. Claus need your help? The kids have to get back into a routine. It’s better for all concerned if we cut out the daily distractions.

You’ve brought us Christmas joy and some great memories. In short, you’ve done your job. 

Now hop aboard that sleigh and get going. Is that a glimmer of a tear in your eye? Aw, cut it out. You’ll be back next year and we’ve got to have something left to look forward to.