Walking through the mall the other day I spotted this sign and my inner cynic commented, “How ridiculous. You can’t possibly guarantee someone’s joy.”
Then the light bulb went off. But that’s exactly what we moms try to do! We guarantee joy for everyone, as if it were a return policy printed along with our every transaction.
Visitors and passers-by: We guarantee our house will be decked with greenery and wreaths. Neighbors and Homeowners Association, note that the skateboards and bicycles have been removed up from the yard and the front door is bathed in a golden glow.
Friends, you will receive greeting cards with our smiling kids staged in front of a holiday scene. Please note the coordinating outfits; that is no accident.
Grandparents, enjoy your time to visit and observe presents exchanged without having to plan a menu, cook or clean. This is your turn. You used oranges, apples, and walnuts as stocking filler but you won’t believe the goodies they can manufacture with high fructose corn syrup these days.
Kids, you will have unforgettable memories and each year will be better than the last.
You will have matching Christmas pajamas. I will have the camera charged and will capture your expressions at the exact moments of initial surprise and wonder. These photos will even be flattering enough to show your boyfriend/girlfriend one day.
Finally, the Santa Reveal on Christmas morning will leave you absolutely breathless. Breathless, do you hear?
We moms are creating the most wonderful time of the year no matter what it takes. Just guarantee us you will repay our efforts with real joy. Now say cheese!
Note to Spouse: As usual, we will stay up until the wee hours laying out numbered parts according to assembly instructions . Remember, you are in this joy guarantee too.